The following article is from Amy Lew and Betty Lou Bettner. It is posted for educational purposes only. (From https://www.imdetermined.org)
The
Crucial Cs and Rudolf Dreikurs’ Short-Range Goals of Misbehavior
Amy Lew and Betty
Lou Bettner
|
Child’s belief
|
Child feels
|
Child’s negative goal
|
Adult feels
|
Adult’s impulse
|
Child’s response to correction
|
|
I only count when
I’m being noticed
|
insecure
alienated
|
ATTENTION
|
irritated annoyed
|
REMIND
What, again?
|
“temporarily”
stops
|
|
My strength is in
showing you that you can’t make me and you can’t stop me.
|
inadequate,
dependent others
are
in control
|
POWER
|
angry
challenged
|
FIGHT
I insist that you
do as I say.
|
misbehavior
intensifies
|
|
I knew you were
against me. No one really likes
me. I’ll show you how it feels.
|
insignificant
|
REVENGE
get back
get even
|
hurt or wants to
punish
|
PUNISH
How could you do
this to me? us? them?
I’ll teach you a lesson. |
wants to get even,
makes self disliked
|
|
I can’t do
anything right so I won’t try. If I
don’t try, my failures won’t be so obvious.
|
inferior
useless
hopeless
|
AVOIDANCE
display of
inadequacy
|
despair
I give up.
hopeless
|
GIVE UP
It’s no use.
|
passive,
no change,
more hopeless,
displays
inadequacy
|
Remember: Misbehavior is a symptom of the child’s
discouragement at not having the Crucial Cs.
Use encouragement and training through natural and logical
consequences. Consider and agree on
choices together.
|
Crucial Cs
|
Constructive Alternatives
|
Child’s belief
|
Child feels
|
Child’s positive goal
|
|
CONNECT
|
Replace negative
attention with positive attention.
Plan activities together. Don’t
ignore the child; ignore the misbehavior.
Teach self-sufficiency.
|
I belong.
|
secure
|
COOPERATION
|
|
CAPABLE
|
Don’t try to
win. Give opportunity and choices so
child can display power constructively.
Maintain friendly
attitude.
|
I can do it.
|
competent
self-control
|
SELF-RELIANCE
|
|
COUNT
|
Avoid anger and
hurt feelings. Maintain, appreciation
in relationship. Offer chances to
help. Seek support and help in
identifying positives.
(Don’t give up.)
|
I matter. I can make a difference.
|
significant
valuable
|
CONTRIBUTION
|
|
COURAGE
|
Notice only
strengths and ignore the negative. Set
up steady exposure to manageable tasks that have a guarantee of success.
No criticism.
|
I can handle what
comes.
|
hopeful
willing to try
|
RESILIENCY
|
Copyright
© 1995 Amy Lew and Betty Lou Bettner.
The authors grant permission to copy this chart for educational purposes
only, provided that the authors are cited.
